In learning how to be more flexible when dealing with depression, we ought to remember that our mind habituates to the patterns we follow. When we are well, we look for security. Everything we do is aimed at ensuring our safety and wellbeing. When we fall ill, the certainty that we will be well is gone. Usually, when this happens, we tend to resort to our usual patterns of thought and activity. These are essentially meant to acquire certainty.
Perhaps, when we are ill or depressed, we should not aim for certainty or security. This sounds hard but doesn’t have to be so. All we have to see is that any certainty is only apparently so. One way or the other, each one of us knows that nothing whatsoever is certain. Yet we persist in harboring the belief that they are. In trying earnestly to learn how to be more flexible when dealing with depression, we could choose to let go of our desire to be sure.
This helps in many ways. We stop looking for guarantees that we will be well or when we will start feeling better. This takes away the expectation that things will or should go our way. With that happening, we can focus on doing what we need to do without hope for positive outcomes. Not only does this take away a lot of pressure from our mind, it prepares us for possible disappointment. Strangely, it is only when things are difficult, that we can learn to do all this. When things are going well, we are essentially stuck in our patterns and routines. We start to believe that nothing will go wrong and sooner or later, we are disappointed.
Ultimately, minimizing disappointment comes only from preparing for it. And if we can start to think like this when we are unwell, we can stay ready for any eventuality. Such a way gets to the roots of illnesses like depression.
